Sunday, November 29, 2009

Negative Thoughts...

By Frank

It's 7 days till Macau Marathon 2009. I usually look forward to an event even though I know it's a long and tough one. However this time, not only I'm looking forward to it, I can't help myself from having negative thoughts. In other words, I'm worried and I'm scared.

In throughout my running career, I have always learn to respect the distance especially the marathon. I do not fear the distance of 42.195KM but instead, it tells me or rather act as a reminder on what I can or cannot do. And as I approach my 9th marathon, my respect for it will still be the same, except I fear for something else now. Something of which I do not know how to put in words. Trying to achieve my marathon dream is one, but surviving it will be another issue here.

Frankly speaking, I do not know if I'm ready to run my marathon dream. Only close to 3 years of running, no doubt it's going to be real tough. But once a goal is set, I guess there is no turning back. Returning from a month's layback due to injury and with only 4 months worth of training, things does look bleak.

As a cancer survivor, I have seen life from a different point of view. The ups and downs, victories and struggles, life and death and so much more. I've learn to appreciate the journey through life since that faithful day. I still remember most of them that shared the same ward with me. All of them were just kids, toddlers with most not even 10 years of age. I'm sure they do not know what was going on then, but side by side did we fought together. A few went down fighting and seeing parents shed tears for a lost young one is certainly not a sight that we all want to see.

And on a lonely Sunday today, I went through some of my old photo albums to look back on the journey I had. I look back at my running photos especially those I had with my friends and I even read this blog again from the first entry till the latest. The memories flooded my mind and vision instantly as if they just happened as I went through all of them. I do not know what will happen in next week, but for sure I'm carrying those memories with me even if the one thing I fear happens then.

10 comments:

cRAzYtoMatOmaN-D said...

Hey look on the brighter side...you still can and have the opportunity plus the courage to take on anything in life.
That's truly a blessing.
Let's live life to the fullest!

Jesus will always be with us all.

C-CUBE said...

all der best...u can hack that target.

RunWitMe said...

Time for a group hugs? Kidding! I'm sure you will rock Macau! All the best!

Ribbit @ Lynn said...

remember the special word! ( if you can't remember happy guessing) not PEANUT okay :) LOTS N LOTS of luck!

Bumblebee said...

Don't worry, you can only achieve good results with a relaxed mind. ALL THE BEST!!

Frank@Runnerz said...

Tomatoman: Thanks. Indeed it's a blessing as they are others out there who are living a below to par life. We should be grateful with what we have.

ccube: Thanks. Hack and chop!

RunWitMe: Thanks. Come give me a hug! Hehe...

Lynn: Peanut power? Haha... Thanks. I do remember the special word. Actually, it never left me.

Bumblebee: Thanks. You are?

Bumblebee said...

I am just a reader of your blog, and a runner too. Good luck!

Tweet @ Chin said...

Think positive, Frank! When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!

Jamie Pang said...

It's used to death but here's what I've to say - "Seize The Moment, Carpe Diem!" Not everyone lives their Lives the same way. Everyone has to chart their own course on their own terms and time. Only you know how far/hard you can go or push. So at the end of the day, it comes down to seizing the moment. Am I making any sense?

Enjoy the race!

Frank@Runnerz said...

Chin Chin: Thanks and very well said too. :)

Jamie: Yeah, it makes sense. Destiny lies in my own hands eh. Thanks man.